Neil Diamond & Barbra Streisand, You don’t bring me flowers, 1978.

Dear Jesus,

Yes, I know. It’s true. I don’t bring you flowers anymore. But if you think about it, the last time I brought you flowers was when I was in grade three. To be honest, I forgot and the teacher had to break up her own bouquet so that the handful of us who forgot would have something to give. And anyway, who brings flowers these days? I guess I like it when I get flowers. I have to admit that I’ve never really thought about how you feel about the matter. I have to admit that I’ve never really thought about how you feel about a lot of matters. I do want to get better at showing you how much I love you. I’ll be needing some help.

With greater and greater affection,
Me

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